Why Does America Hate America?

Now that President Bush's social security reinforcement plan is making its final circles around the drain, it's time for Bush supporters everywhere to start wondering why so many 'mercins oppose W's plan for giving them their own personal stake in the Ownership Society^®--why, in short, do Americans hate America?

First of all, W. didn't get to talk to everyone. Over-zealous staffers kept keeping people out of the town hall meetings of the Phase Out '05 Tour. Yes, certain people should have been kept out. The terrorists. The evil-doers. The gay old people in the AARP who don't support our troops. But those staffers ended up keeping out a lot of other people--ironically, a very high percentage of the people they kept out were exactly the people W. needed to convince to support his plan.

But what W.'s plan was, was to give everyone... Well, all the young people. The Freedom to invest their money in their own private accounts. As long as they invested in certain, rigidly restricted ways. And they could then pass those personal accounts on to their children, if they died at a certain age--giving their children the Freedom to enjoy their fruits of their parents' Freedom. And Freedom would start to spread, and soon everyone would have more Freedom. But liberals like a certain Senator from Taxachusetts, think that the government should keep your money--they hate Freedom, you see, and won't let you pass it on to your kids.

Now the polls and everything--the Filter--are telling people to be afraid. That's fear--not Freedom. Americans shouldn't be afraid of Freedom--they embrace it--they hold it close to the heart. And luckily, policies put in place by our pal, Paul Bremer, and by the noble sacrifices of our heroic men and women of the armed forces, will soon make it possible for Iraqis to begin investing in their own personal accounts. A Free and personally-investing Iraq will be a beacon of light in the troubled Americo-Middle-Eastern-region, and show the people of the world--and America--that Freedom is not something to fear. And then, once again, Freedom will be on the march toward a glorious, personally owed future.

We must act now to ensure a personally investing future for both Iraq and America. If we don't act, millions of young people will be facing the future without Freedom. And I don't care what you say, America—but that's not the way we do things here in America.